What’s a Pickle?

What is a pickle? Webster defines it as a cucumber preserved in a brine vinegar solution, but that’s only a book pickle. Pickles go much deeper than that. We can be in a pickle and pickled too. We may be a pickler or picklee even. And what happens while we are in the process of pickling? We shall explore these ideas in detail.

Let’s consider Bill Clinton just for pickle fun. I am sure he has done his share of getting pickled in a bar, but if he didn’t inhale marijuana, did he spit out the alcohol and drink the rest? Hard to get pickled if you do that I think. I bet he drank it all and went ugly early. Just look at Monica if you don’t believe me. And that sure got him in a pickle with Hillary. I bet that was a sour pickle, but again, you will have to ask Monica about that. Of course there was that college time Hillary spent with another woman. Looks like she got a strap on pickle that time. Hummmmm, I never heard of the “strap on” variety before. I bet it was an artificial pickle. That’s why I never heard of it. I wonder if she was pickled then? I bet they practiced being the pickler and picklee together too. Nothing like good teamwork. But I wander, back to Monica and Bill. Apparently Monica likes hard pickles, not the soft ones. Nice to get your hands, or was that fingers, around one I guess. I heard soft pickles are terrible, but you sometimes beat the hard ones while you eat them. This is confusing.

And pickles are not just for lunch I learned. They can be enjoyed while giving a speech too. Ole Bill must be coordinated to be a speaker and picklee at the same time. Monica enjoyed it so much she got pickle juice on her dress and couldn’t get it out. I wonder why she kept that dress anyway? That must have been one special pickle variety! I bet the Secret Service didn’t know Monica shared the President’s pickle or they would have checked her for dangerous oral diseases or something. We wouldn’t want our President catching something from a shared pickle would we? Let us now review Bill’s pickle history.

He was pickled in college, marijuana or alcohol.
He was a pickler with Hillary, they had Chelsey.
He was a picklee with Monica, she got the stain.
He pickled Hillary who already was a pickler and picklee in college.
He was in a pickle with Hillary and America over Monica.

I think that’s some kind of pickle history and we didn’t even get into the different pickles Hillary eats. We don’t even know if Bill eats pickles, though I don’t want to know about certain varieties.

So it looks like a pickle is more than just a cucumber in brine vinegar solution. I need more research so I will watch the evening news to see who is pickling whom, who is eating new varieties, and who the pickler and picklee are. In the meantime, since I have been in “a” pickle only once (just before I was conceived), I will try to get this published in “The” Pickle, the best e-letter on line.

Ó2001  o. dell